pouët.net

docd: sure! i'll beat havoc up!

@ham: Well the point is I had three suicides in three weeks. Two succeeded. I typed a lengthy reply but decided not to post it.

The point with committing suicide is that you put the burden on your environment. So instead of the person who was depressed, it is me that suddenly feels like life has no value. And since my world-view supports reincarnation no one gets any better, in this game there are only people who lose. It isn't an exit, there is no way out, no quick fix will help.

@Factor6: Are you sure external love input is the solution to the state you're in? Let's assume that this night, you meet the woman of your dreams, and with that energy you'll able to socialize in such a dramatic way that within a week you have like 10+ good friends for life, a big fanbase and suddenly you win the lottery-jackpot as well. The way I see depression, these external factors, although they will of course contribute to your general well-being, won't suffice in removing the core-issue that brought you in your current state unless you confront your inner demons.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to see infinite good things to happen to you (I do) but above else I would like to see you happy. And true happiness of the spirit comes from within, and can't be induced by external factors.

I hope this made any sense. If it didn't I'm always willing to elaborate. But please start by putting suicidal thoughts out of your daily routine, if you would be so kind. Thanks in advance.

Often it is. Everyone wants to be appreciated one way or another.

Altough you have a valid point there, relying on others for mental stability seems like a dangerous move. At best they can give you a hand to pull you out of the proverbial swamp, but isn't it safe to assume that if company is a way out of this situation, the moment a relationship breaks the blow would be even harder? I'm all in for eternal love of course but I'm just saying maybe factor6 is so focused on love after his ten year relationship that maybe the solution is in a completly different direction?

@Factor: If you wnt (possibly positive) feedback on your scene-work, why not supply us with a link?

factor6: I'm probably one of the many who's never given you any feedback. In fact I've possibly never seen any of your work, as it seems you mostly do speccy stuff, and I don't have a speccy, had no speccy when I was a kid etc., and so I don't normally follow the speccy scene at all.

But that doesn't mean your stuff has no value to me. I respect you for taking the time to produce stuff when so many people just watch, and I really appreciate anything that people contribute to the scene (ok, so long as it's not utter shit or offends me, but that's super rare).

Anyway, what have you done that you're most happy with? I'll take a look and give some feedback :)

@funkdoobiest: and don't forget Solfeggio frequencies! Although kind of new-ageish, they do bring relaxation.

@Factor6: Ah, indeed now I see you actually made the releases you added as prods. My bad. I'll try and search for an emulator for windows. Any tips?

I found this and I think that it might be helpful. It describes a kind of demosceneish way of living...

Get depressed? listen to Chordian.sid...

Personnaly, I feel that song make me feel:
0:00 - 1:00 = someone cry how things goes wrong
1:00 - 1:16 = pause
1:16 - 1:47 = small argue about why it goes wrong
1:48 - 3:00 = HEY, DON'T YOU LISTEN... MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE! :(
3:00 - END = Someone has listen to your pain and answer!

or watch miss italia 2011 on rai uno!

Factor6:
* If you need to do activities with other people, maybe a suitable way is to enter a club? (athletism, tennis, board games, etc...)
* As for feedback about your work, IIRC you are behind the wonderfullWallflower ZX? You got my vote! :)

Please keep strong!

factor6: how is your doctor. remember that not always medicaments works, but i dont know how your situation is. try think about for a moment if you trust your doctor. because some doctors just write out prescriptions for drugs that not always help. he or she should tell you about when you will start to feel better and how those medicaments works. if not, then think about how you communicate with him/her. it important if you feel otherwise that you try out new things or change your mindset. or change your doctor. for example, think about what you want to do with your life, maybe small things every day, not every month or year, but every day. live in the moment(?). but things that are important and small for you. try cherish them or something instead of thinking too much about how much your life sucks. it doesnt help solving those issues alone. you need maybe talk to some professionals, or ask if someone knows anyone who can talk and listen to you, either for money (if its a company or communal service) or for free. its up too you.

If you feel sad, listen to some [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8kGLF4k5vU]Amiga doskpop[/a] at FULL volume :)

{bbcode fail}

If you feel sad, listen to some Amiga doskpop at FULL volume :)

docd: i'd like to see maali beat me up too! but he will have to eat lots of spinach first, or maybe you can help him? :)

re what Numtek said: " The way I see depression, these external factors, although they will of course contribute to your general well-being, won't suffice in removing the core-issue that brought you in your current state unless you confront your inner demons."


Numtek is right, factor6. As are the folks who mentioned exercise.
The scene and similar activities where you meet folks with common interests will help. It is good that you reached out, and good to see people reaching back.

Stay alive. You might be amazed the things that happen in five years, in ten.

Stay alive. Don't miss out.

And maybe this might be useful too: moodscope.com
Find a close friend and share your scores. Sometimes it helps just knowing that someone else knows how you feel, without having to talk about it.

What baah & rudi just said.
Try to steer clear of what I call the health professional's mousewheel - I've tried most anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and "mood stabilizers". Between the (sometimes worse than the symptoms) side-effects and the trying something for 6 odd weeks, finding it doesn't work & being back at square 1. I much prefer to be as crazy as a loon but drug free.
"Mens sana in corpore sano"

re: antidepressants:

Drugs do different things to different people. IMO, they're neither good nor bad: if they work, then all the more power to you. It really depends on how your body reacts to those chemicals.

I know people who go crazy with pills and people who are crazy without them. There are a few where the drugs don't improve or destroy their personality, just alter it.

What's important is figuring out what Lind of person you are and what drugs can/can't do for you.

It's a good idea what Metoikos suggests... 'find a close friend and share your scores'.

Listen to music you like.

Im not really depressive so I dont want to sound like a smartass here, but I know about the power of music to alter your mood.
Sometimes you think you need some music to get you up again but you totally get it wrong and choose the wrong tracks and end up thinking music can do nothing for you, but thats so wrong (e.g. spin something too joyful because you think that its the best way to feel good, but it doesnt work that way.. at least not for me) !
We cant really help you with that one, but Im sure if you think about it a bit you will find tunes that you associate with joyful moments or just give you the energy you need, even if its crappy speccy bleeper music ;).
Also when you feel the need to talk to people, IRC is always a good thing to have. Even if deep conversations dont happen too often (but they do from time to time) even a simple joke or just the idea of not being alone in the dark universe can give you warmth and comfort. You'll eventually notice that there are a lot of like-minded individuals in there you can get to know a lot better, too.

Well, youve probably tried music and IRC ages ago (they also go very good together), Im just saying!

to follow on wysiwtf's comment, id like to say if you do use irc, i suggest using only the server(s) that you feel comfortable with. for me efnet don't work anymore. its a huge crappy place to be on. i changed it to ircnet, espernet or blitzed. they are more chilled. if you are that kind of guy who hate when op'ers think they can change your mind by banning you all the time because you have other opinions than the rest, just leave that channel, don't waste your time there. i usually there only in the weekends if i am on ircnet or the like. i wouldn't be there all the time.

By the way, it's not about women in my case. Heh, so you probably think - it must be much easier for him to find a suitable friend between so many men - but, it doesn't work for me.

I'm asked for many music projects again, people want lots of musics for their projects (some CPC demo and Amiga demo)... I learned by time that I hate this. When I'm pushed to make musics, it's always something wrong.

About IRC - I tried to connect to ircnet's #amigascne, #c-64, #revision and #speccy. All of them were dead. And I used to love IRC so much...

#breakpoint is usually active though

#c-64 isnt exactly dead, either.
Acitvity on the channels usually comes in waves, you'll need a little patience sometimes =)
IRC is definitely not dead.

no need for spinach, i know maali-yuddha!