pouët.net

Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too...
Sorry, it was there I just had to do it.

10 "well, i won't finish till friday, i have too much work on my desk"
20 "then find someone to delegate the work to"
30 "but there is noone that understands how it works, only me"
40 "ok, then you have to do it"
50 GOTO 10

Being my own boss, the most frequent quote is:

"You should continue [add in-progress-project]"

"If amazon can do this , YOU can do it also ... Why its not finished ?"

Conclusion : I dont know the IT.Dept. Size at amazon, but they are for sure more than me alone ...

If [other product] can do it, it's not impossible. I don't know why can't you do it... (maybe because I've to do it all by my self, and the [other product] is from a BIG company with more than one developer for sure)

If it compiles, ship it!

i guess you guys'd like this movie.. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151804/

"well, you know, what with all the economic crisis and the credit crunch we are in poor financial situation this year. so i have to freeze bonus pays. but on a more cheerful note: what do you think of my brand new Jaguar XF? pretty isn't it!"

"we can do that in half a day"

"want a beer?"

"we have this, and we'll do that."

"that was lousy weed"

:D

I used to get baked with my boss, then we'd go over the road to the pub and get shit-faced then I'd drop him home and drive home in teh work van.

"Could you just come by and help me out here real quick?"

You're not quitting, you're fired!

ok, we missed the latest deadline, let's finish the work for the next.

A program is never finished (so we are selling unfinished products, isn't it?)

-"What do you mean by we do not have this feature? What? We can't have it now? It will take at least 3 months to develope?... We need it NOW!! It has already been sold to our major clients as well tested, stable and leading thing in our company!"

-"YOU are the expert here. You must do sth! (Yes I AM the expert, but not a Magician, at least not yet)"

-"This issue (let's call it here-"A") from now on has the highest priority. Please, focun on it now". Few hours later...:
-"No, forget it! THIS issue here ("B") is the most important for us now".... The next day gave me....:
-"What did I say yesterday? No, the case ("C") is now on your top to do! GOGOGOGOGO! Thanx!".... And finally, the following day brought me :
-"No! Leave it. That issue ("A"!!!) is the most important! And, by the way, why has not it been done already?"..

"i'm gay, you want a pay rise...let's come to a mutually beneficial arrangement""

"A ver que se te ocurre..." End sentence when they told you to do something ambiguous, not clear...

"what the fuck you're doing on pouet again"

Amen brother...

*RIIIING RIIING* "sorry, I'm gonna be 10 minutes late..."

You're fired.