MATHJOKETIME!
category: offtopic [glöplog]
Quote:
added on the 2010-12-20 02:05:58 by xernobyl
That's what she said.
best reply so far :)
iq: if you want to bend a cylinder in a circle with 1m radius, the cylinder needs to be ~6.28m long. That is hard to type in and will never really fit. by setting pi=3, i can bend a 6m cylinder and it will fit perfectly. But the textures will be distorted by some 5%, which is ok.
not distorting the textures is a problem when you have a long pipe with a 90 degree angle (or so) in the middle. watch the pipe scene in debris to see an example of how it should not be done.
bending pipes is a problem in real life. imagine you have a long pipe and you have to bend it twice by 90°, with a straight in the middle, to some kind of 'U', and you want the horizontal bars of the 'U' to have an exact distance. And I am talking about a thick pipe that has to be bend with a tool, and can not be bend back.
not distorting the textures is a problem when you have a long pipe with a 90 degree angle (or so) in the middle. watch the pipe scene in debris to see an example of how it should not be done.
bending pipes is a problem in real life. imagine you have a long pipe and you have to bend it twice by 90°, with a straight in the middle, to some kind of 'U', and you want the horizontal bars of the 'U' to have an exact distance. And I am talking about a thick pipe that has to be bend with a tool, and can not be bend back.
Two guys are in a hot air balloon, enjoying being carried by the wind. After some hours, they don't know where they are. So they let the air cool down a bit, the balloon goes down, and they call a guy walking in the country:
"Hey, do you know where we are?"
The guy looks up, start stroking his beard (he has a long, grey beard), and after some time answers:
"You are... You are... In a balloon!"
"Err, Yes, thank you!" answers the balloonist and puts the burner in action. He tells the other:
"Three things make me think this walker is a Mathematician:
1. He said something logically correct.
2. He took a long time to say it.
3. It's absolutely useless!"
"Hey, do you know where we are?"
The guy looks up, start stroking his beard (he has a long, grey beard), and after some time answers:
"You are... You are... In a balloon!"
"Err, Yes, thank you!" answers the balloonist and puts the burner in action. He tells the other:
"Three things make me think this walker is a Mathematician:
1. He said something logically correct.
2. He took a long time to say it.
3. It's absolutely useless!"
(end of above story)
then the walker think about the guy in the "mongolfiere" :
"he must be a physycian, he ask something evident, and then, if he lost imself, it's gonna be my fault"
then the walker think about the guy in the "mongolfiere" :
"he must be a physycian, he ask something evident, and then, if he lost imself, it's gonna be my fault"
The version I've heard goes something like this:
A guy in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced the height and saw a woman standing on the ground below.
"Excuse me! Can you help me out? I arranged a meeting with my friend an hour ago but I don't know where I am"
The woman looked up and answered:
"You're in a hot air balloon just about 30 feet above sea level, on the position 55 deg. 41' 52" north, 10 deg. 12' 47" west"
"You must be a technician", the guy in the balloon replied.
"I am", the woman said. "But how did you know that?"
"Well, everything you told me is technically correct but I have no clue what to use that information for, and the fact is that I'm still lost. The only thing you did, was to further delay my meeting", the guy shouted at the woman.
The woman on the ground looked up and replied, "You must be an executive!"
"I am", the man replied. "But how did you know that?"
"Simple! You have no clue where you are or where you're going. You got up only using hot air. You made an appointment you're not able to fullfill and you're expecting people below you to solve your problems. Fact is, you're in the exact same situation as you were before you met me, but all of a sudden it's all my fault now"
A guy in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced the height and saw a woman standing on the ground below.
"Excuse me! Can you help me out? I arranged a meeting with my friend an hour ago but I don't know where I am"
The woman looked up and answered:
"You're in a hot air balloon just about 30 feet above sea level, on the position 55 deg. 41' 52" north, 10 deg. 12' 47" west"
"You must be a technician", the guy in the balloon replied.
"I am", the woman said. "But how did you know that?"
"Well, everything you told me is technically correct but I have no clue what to use that information for, and the fact is that I'm still lost. The only thing you did, was to further delay my meeting", the guy shouted at the woman.
The woman on the ground looked up and replied, "You must be an executive!"
"I am", the man replied. "But how did you know that?"
"Simple! You have no clue where you are or where you're going. You got up only using hot air. You made an appointment you're not able to fullfill and you're expecting people below you to solve your problems. Fact is, you're in the exact same situation as you were before you met me, but all of a sudden it's all my fault now"
Nice version too! :)
Mummy snake to baby snakes: "Go fort and multiply!"
Baby snakes: "We can't, we're adders."
Mummy snake: "You can do it in logs." :)
Baby snakes: "We can't, we're adders."
Mummy snake: "You can do it in logs." :)
LOL!!!
A statistician is someone who can have his feet in the ice, his head in the oven and say that, on average, he feels good.
Quote:
*Insert joke about it must have been a woman, because she was clearly lying here*The woman looked up and answered:
"You're in a hot air balloon just about 30 feet above sea level, on the position 55 deg. 41' 52" north, 10 deg. 12' 47" west"
proof here
Quote:
not distorting the textures is a problem when you have a long pipe with a 90 degree angle (or so) in the middle.
In that case, textures are the very last of your problems. I mean... OW!
(scnr)
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are looking through the window, drinking coffee. They see a man and a woman enter the neighbouring building. 10 minutes later, both are going out with a third person.
* "They reproduced" say the biologist.
* "No, it's a measurement error." say the engineer.
* "If another person enters the building, he will be empty" concludes the mathematician.
* "They reproduced" say the biologist.
* "No, it's a measurement error." say the engineer.
* "If another person enters the building, he will be empty" concludes the mathematician.
The last joke is an isomorphism.
Q: What will a mathematician choose if you offer him the choice between a sandwich and eternal satisfaction?
A: The sandwich of course, because nothing is better than eternal satisfaction, and a sandwich is better than nothing.
A: The sandwich of course, because nothing is better than eternal satisfaction, and a sandwich is better than nothing.
Good one! LOL
