pouët.net

The ones who are expecting me at Breakpoint, don't be sure I'll be there. And I almost don't even care about struggling making it there, cause my life is a big mess..

I was happy about being able to visit BP, one exam was at April and so I extended my stay in Germany. But then the laws of Murphy started, each one after the other..

Zuerst my mother was wondering about going in Eastern back to Greece. She asked me if I could come to have it with them and then take the Flugzeug back to Germany just for my last exam. "NO!" I shouted. "Just NO!". Couldn't say the reasons. Ok,. she said. I can easilly handle this because to have the exams later but loose the BP even if I could make it now, has no meaning.

Now I find a friend and he tells me that I have to register for the exams because they are oral. Oh.. he says that it might be too late. Without exams at April I may either loose BP, or go to BP but fake to my parents that I still have that exam at April! And guess what will happen if they learned..

But I said, perhaps it's too early and I can still register. I go to the office but I couldn't find the professor, then went to his secretary. Oh,. it's still possible to register. Yeah! BUT?

The April days are already full!!! Agghhh!!!!!!!!

I didn't told you also that there were some dates in the beginning of March, but either I have another lesson there or I just didn't wanted to say that to my parents so that I can take the April date and stay for BP too. But now? If I have to take exams in March, then I don't have the time to prepare for too lessons, my motivation drops and I have to fake about BP too. If they learn that I lied them in order to stay one more month just for the demoparty and no exams, no Easter with them, oh well..

Except if the scenario can still change, like mailing my professor and asking him if it's still possible to take exams in April..

My motivation is preety dropped now. How the hell can I read for my lessons? If abandoning reading, I don't even have motivation for anything else (coding, scene, anything..). I only have a motivation for destruction (I ripped an Amiga500+s yesterday in order to get a drive for my CPC,.. which didn't worked :P) I melted the plastic with the soldering tool because I didn't had the screwdriver needed for some screws. I scrumbled the metal, removed chips and got a 1MB ram card for me. And the drive too..)) and perhaps for some bier or Ouzo. Oh god..

..and that's why I have the motivation to write that thing and annoy you. And if you are arrogant about that, then I don't care, because I have no motivation for anything, my world is grey, and I can easilly not give a sense for answering back even more arrogant..

Blah :P

you're such a wimp.

I am wasted ohhh mannn!!!

AND THE FUCKIN UNIVERSITY IS NOT FOR ME!!!

Perhaps not even the scene..

man needs serenity, I should die to get it.

I was kinda looking forward meeting Optimus at BP ;)

dairy: I might still arrange struggling to make it to BP. There are people I really want to meet, because then who knows? Perhaps I forget the scene later. BP will be my last resort..

"or go to BP but fake to my parents that I still have that exam at April! And guess what will happen if they learned.."

Yes, what if your parents suddenly find out that you were going to Breakpoint! Everybody knows about Breakpoint!

rofl@sagacity

Ok, they won't learn it that way. It's just always that invisible ethical entity that they have set upon me since childhood. Here it's mostly the fact that I lied about them for such big things, that make me feel bad even in case they might never discover the truth. I have to bare with this every day..

long live OptiBLOG!!!

optimus: look for freedom like me.

bah, just tell them you can't take the exam now, but you're hanging around for bp. If they can't handle it, tell them you're no longer a little boy, and you make your own desicions.

also, it ist nicht really cool to schreib like this.

es is very cool zu schreib like this weil you confuse grosse

next level: mix up german and english vocabular with russian grammar.

psonice: not that easy when daddy is paying =)

Anyways,. my professor schreib me an email and says we can arrange an exam for April.

Here it's finer, but when I come back to Greece, I won't be able to have a time. You ask me to get a grip (not even here I can sometimes, but most times it's better) but what if I come back? I can try but there is external pressure that brings me down..

Actually, my small brother tells me that we will open a software company (He will share ideas and I will code) and perhaps then I will get money and I don't know if I will continue with the university or not. Perhaps university is not for me. It's nicer and interesting to talk about maths and computing but not when having to struggle at exams..

Strange. I shouldn't have opened this thread, since my problem is over (I think). What if my parents knows Pouet now? ;)))

Have a cup of coffee.

Coffee suxx!!!

[qote]Actually, my small brother tells me that we will open a software company (He will share ideas and I will code) and perhaps then I will get money and I don't know if I will continue with the university or not. Perhaps university is not for me. It's nicer and interesting to talk about maths and computing but not when having to struggle at exams..[/quote]

Oh yeah, Optimus.. you will surely own a lot of $$$ this way ;-)

Yeah, open a software house and sell gouraud shaders (in basic.. in 2004) alright...

Optimus: I guess you should really try to put your energy into developping a constructive relationship with your parents instead of reflecting yourself into some HTML not of relevance to demoscene at all.
In the end also your smaller brother will benefit from this when his parents won't restrict him like they obiously restrict you.

If I were you, I'd rather chose my own freedom than depending on my parents and not being able to develop myself and learn from my own mistakes and sucess stories.