Let's have Cybersex!
category: general [glöplog]
I slowly remove your woolen hat.
I kick you in the nuts, punch you in the mouth and when you're out cold, I steal your wallet.
To take some condoms.
i carefully pull the cash and drivers license out of your wallet.
in b4 steohawk talking about pedophilia
I like where this is headed >)
stalemate
I watch from the shadows, slowly stroking my enormous manly erection. The crime is making me so horny. I moan softly as okkie loots your unconscious body. It's so wrong it makes me feel just right. As he leaves the room, I crawl towards you, still holding my manhood in one hand. I wonder if shooting my load all over your battered face would be unethical or just incredibly hot.
Suddenly there's a knock on the door. "Polizei!" the door says, in a voice that means to be taken seriously. Oh no! If they see me like this, they'll get the wrong idea! In a moment of panic, I throw myself against the window. Fortunately, my erect penis breaks through the glass well ahead of me, and the sweet sensation of the broken shards on my well-above-average testicles finally releases my tension. Through sudden orgasmic clarity i harness the true power within me, spin 720 degrees mid-air, grow wings and fly to safety.
You are rushed to the emergency room where they have to operate on you, but they can't seem to find the anesthetics so it's a traumatic, even hellish experience. Surgery lasts for the worst five hours anyone has ever had no choice but to endure, but you survive. They can't fix your face, though, and you must live the rest of your life as a freak. You are also sterile but that's okay because nobody would want you now anyway.
Suddenly there's a knock on the door. "Polizei!" the door says, in a voice that means to be taken seriously. Oh no! If they see me like this, they'll get the wrong idea! In a moment of panic, I throw myself against the window. Fortunately, my erect penis breaks through the glass well ahead of me, and the sweet sensation of the broken shards on my well-above-average testicles finally releases my tension. Through sudden orgasmic clarity i harness the true power within me, spin 720 degrees mid-air, grow wings and fly to safety.
You are rushed to the emergency room where they have to operate on you, but they can't seem to find the anesthetics so it's a traumatic, even hellish experience. Surgery lasts for the worst five hours anyone has ever had no choice but to endure, but you survive. They can't fix your face, though, and you must live the rest of your life as a freak. You are also sterile but that's okay because nobody would want you now anyway.
fuckings to the ones who spoiled this thread. i still love you all but i hand you fuckings. bigtime.
whoops wrong thread, disregard that last statement !
I put on my robe and wizard hat
to take some condoms
Quote:
I put on my robe and wizard hat
I am so hard.
Quote:
whoops wrong thread, disregard that last statement !
No.
Quote:
fuckings to the ones who spoiled this thread. i still love you all but i hand you fuckings. bigtime.
You are a bit brief, try to describe that more detailed.
hahaha! :)
Code:
C:\games\>ZEX.EXE
------------ZEX--------------
You are standing in front of a gorgeous
looking girl. She has beautiful blue eyes and long blonde hair,
and if she wasn't so hot, you'd realize she was staring back.
She's only wearing a shirt, but left hand is cupped over her
vulva. Her ring and middle fingers are slowly moving up and down.
She says "Take me now!"
There's a girl to the north, a door to the south and to the west lies a window
The weather is nice.
>have sex with girl
She's too far away.
>go north
>have sex with girl
With what?
>with my manhood
Your manhood what?
>penis
There's no such thing!
>have sex with girl using penis
You have to take it out first.
>take penis out.
Try pulling your zipper down first.
>open zipper
With what?
>hand
Hand what?
>open zipper with hand
Done.
>take penis out
It emerges from the darkness of your pants.
>have sex with girl
Wow, really romantic. Maybe she wants to have some foreplay
>have foreplay
With what?
>girl
What?!
>have foreplay with girl
She wants you to close the curtains first.
>draw curtains
You're too far away.
>go west
You wouldn't want to go there with your dick hanging out, would you?
>save
Done.
>close zipper
You close the zipper and it totally rips your wiener apart. Blood is spraying everywhere...
YOU DIE.
>restore
You are standing in front of a gorgeous
looking girl. She has beautiful blue eyes and long blonde hair,
and if she wasn't so hot, you'd realize she was staring back.
She's only wearing a shirt, but left hand is cupped over her
vulva. Her ring and middle fingers are slowly moving up and down.
She says "Take me now!"
There's a girl to the north, a door to the south and to the west lies a window
Your zipper is open.
Your ding-dong is enjoying the fresh air.
The weather is nice.
>put penis in pants
With what?
>put penis in pants with hands
Whatever you say.
>close zipper with hands
Done!
The girl is moaning loudly.
>go west
You are standing at the window.
The curtains ar open.
There are old people outside.
>close curtains
With what?
The old people are loudly whispering about you.
>close curtains with hands
Done.
>go east
You are standing at the girl again.
>have sex with girl using penis
You have to take it out first
>damnit
Watch your language!
>open zipper
Done.
>take penis out
The beast is loose.
>have sex with girl using penis
She wants to have some foreplay first, remember?
>have foreplay with girl
If it only was that easy...
She's getting impatient. You can tell from her moans.
>gently touch the girls legs
Nice try, but too late. She is not in the mood anymore.
YOU LOSE.
>exit
The what now?
>quit
Are you sure?
>y
Yes or no.
>Yes
C:\games\>del zex.exe
C:\games\>rott.exe
Hijack! Rise of The Triads! What a wickedly fun lan game that was. That and Carmageddon were the best fun ever for me over a network. Must mention Skies though /wave amusic :)
ROTFL!!!
Has anyone ever had phone-cyber-sex?
"I'm phoning you up and making obscene comments..."
"I'm phoning you up and making obscene comments..."
it can be extended to phone-cyber-phone sex:
"I'm talking to you on the phone pretending to have cyber sex with you"
"I'm talking to you on the phone pretending to have cyber sex with you"
btw, yes rott roxx. i thought it'd be the best alternative to zex.exe